Gossip and Rumor…

A few days back a friend called me complaining that she is bothered by the way neighbors attack her verbally through rumors. She was too upset about each word they talked about her and she wanted me to give her my opinion about attacking them and questioning them about each word they spoke about her. Making matters worse, she told me these neighbors talk about her when she’s hearing, but of course when they think she’s isn’t. So I told her, “Why bother your self? Just keep quiet, be silent. Don’t talk to them in any rude way or confront them over anything like gossip, they’ll get tired and give up."

This reminded me of the place were I grew from. My home town is at the extreme waste of Uganda, one or even the most blessed district in Western Uganda, and one of the most blessed in the country of course. This small but highly populated town has people with a common origin: this means that these people know each other well, so it is easy to identify themselves or identify any new member in the society. Now, one thing I has to let you get straight is, every time you visit an area were people easily identify themselves, know that you’ve reached an area where you have to be very careful with the way you behave because every step you take is being watched.

Considering this area were I grew up, in addition to it’s small size and high population, there was a problem of unemployment, which still exists, and this means that people, especially women have the time to carry on with “co-curricular” activities like gossip or rumoring, adultery, alcoholism, prostitution and many of such kind of activities.

Gossip or rumoring was one of the things we easily got used to while growing up. People would talk about anything they see and local “news” was easily spread through this thickly populated area.

Because of growing up in such an area, I learnt such things as;

1) Minding my business, especially since I hated gossip.

2) Avoiding the public eye

3) And, I grew stronger emotionally, since gossip or rumor couldn’t easily move me.

4) The best medicine to gossiping or rumoring people is being silent.

I always tell friends that silence is the best medicine for any kind of gossip or rumor. You see, sometimes people talk about us for good, for bad or while sharing some information say giving examples, and we call this gossip or rumor, yet some times the things they can have talked are true. Say for example, a neighbor might see you in the middle of the night with a young girl or a neighbor’s wife somewhere and tell a friend about it. Sometimes, in fact many times he or she can’t prove that he saw you but this does not mean that you should argue. Be quiet, just keep quiet; silence in such a case is golden. Let him or her talk and talk, but if you don’t reply, soon the topic will have no attention and your life will normalize.

We have experienced gossip or rumor, one that sometimes comes with false allegations and we still live on. Silence has rewarded us with the best gossipers and rumor mongers being our faithful friends rather than our enemies. We have been able to influence gossipers and rumor mongers how to speak more useful words than destructive ones.

You're best able to achieve this through silence.